my sister shared with me that it's simply by God's grace alone that women have more children: the newborn days can be excruciatingly painful, and by God's grace we forget the trials and go on to have more babies.
rather than joyously taking on each day with God's abundant grace, i am simply hanging on by a thread. life with E is hard; i had forgotten how much i disliked bf-ing those early days, and most days i just want to quit. but the guilt of not giving him what i gave Z keeps me going. i don't like doing things out of guilt, but that's the only movitator for now.
they say six weeks postpartum is a turning point. i'm not sure why six weeks makes such a tremendous difference, but i'm praying that i feel somewhat more sane by then -- for the sake of my family as well as myself.
- g.lee
- i'm a suburban girl with bobo tendencies. i live in orange county, california, with my husband, The Mej; our daughter, Fingers (aka Double Dot, Monkey, etc.); and our son, E.
2 comments:
gosh girl...I SOOOO feel ya! Praying that the next few weeks go by quickly! Let me know if you need ANYTHING!
look carefully.
because in the thread is the joy. it's the joy of knowing that the thread is there. that the thread, which seems to you so fragile and weak, is in fact the strongest in your weakness. it's the joy of knowing to where that thread is tethered.
the joy is in the everyday. find it. it is there for you to discover. don't miss it because you are too busy looking for the turning point. to be sure, time will fade away the most acute of pain - that the grace of God. but don't miss the moments for, sadly, those too may be forgotten - that the weakness of men.
love you.
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